" Well, you realize 26 is closer to 30 than 20.."

Birthday in Amsterdam

 On April 22nd, I entered the world of what my Mom refers to as "closer to 30 then 20.." My god. What a horrible way to be reminded that I'm not getting any younger. Not that the constant badgering of a "real" career, a permanent and functional relationship and the ever tiring question of when will she FINALLY have a grand baby other than an 80 pound Weimaraner, who might I add has successfully stolen her heart, isn't enough. I say this all in jest- my Mom only ever terrorizes me in a completely comedic way (I think.) However, I think back to all I've done in the last year and am thankful I survived.. see turning 25 scared the hell out of me. A quarter life crisis of sorts..Anyone that knows me, probably knows that I have no clear path. I was never one of those people that woke up and said- "Today I will start my descent into an ideal adulthood.. a real career, a savings account, retirement fund, single person condo OWNED not rented, and an already paid for car.." 25 made me realize that everything I thought I had, I didn't..Mainly, happiness. Subsequently, the demise of a three year plus relationship with someone who is thankfully still a part of my life was affecting the big picture as I entered the dreaded 25.. It wasn't the end of the relationship that was necessarily the big adjustment- it was the fact that he had been my best friend, my roommate, my future- and I had to start all over again. We transitioned from college to adulthood together, in a safety net because we had each other, making decisions together, taking on new adventures and when it was over, for the first time in a long time.. I was responsible for solely myself. Not long after I turned 25 I realized it was time for me to start living my life for me, whether it was the white picket fence dream that others had- or if it was some crazy European illusion. Hence, my current situation. Whereas 25 was a big dark nightmare.. 26 is the exact opposite and has made me realize all that I have to be thankful for. Not many people have the opportunity to spend a year in another country, the support of family members and friends while I'm out here or multiple traveling destinations as I have been so thankful to have.. See the bottom line is this- life is too short to do anything other than exactly what you want to do..

3rd annual birthday with the Beste's

So,  I still have no idea what I want to do with my life.. I'm still single, and no children on the horizon but I am happy. Blissfully so. And rather than looking for the future and feeling defeated when it doesn't hold exactly what I want- I'm going to let the future find me. 26.. here I come.